I won't lie anymore

I'm not going to lie about it anymore. I'm not going to sugar coat it. Since my knee injury, I have fallen off the wagon.



I have eaten entirely too much, mindlessly snacked even more, used my knee as an excuse not to exercise AT ALL and for the past 10 days I haven't tracked my food, I haven't cared. I pretty much just gave up.

This morning, I feel terrible. I feel like the old me. I feel snappy, moody, sluggish. My pants are feeling a little snug. I have no energy. I feel depressed. I couldn't get out of bed this morning for love or money. I stayed in bed until the last possible minute and then rushed to get to work. I don't like this.

I started my morning with a Green Monster with 1/4 cup uncooked oatmeal added for substance. Today is the day I have to climb back on the wagon.

I have to go to the gym after work. I know I can't run, but I can swim, I can do the elliptical and I can do weights. I have to.

If you haven't noticed yet, this blog post is more for me than for you. It's a pep-talk to myself.

Suck it up cupcake. Get through this work day, go to the gym after work and don't go snack crazy tonight. Period. It's not rocket science. Just do it. Oh and by the way TRACK YOUR FOOD DUMMY! If no one sees you eat it, your ass still knows you ate it.

My Meal Plan for the Week:

Meatless Monday - Homemade Gnocchi* with Spinach Pesto (sans-pine nuts)
Tuesday - Sweet Potato with Beans, similar to last week's Meatless Monday
Wednesday - Goulash (do you know how long it's been since I've had goulash? I just randomly started craving it and I know I can make a healthified version)
Thursday - Tuna Burger
Friday - Leftovers of some sort, maybe on a pizza.

*I made a batch of homemade gnocchi yesterday, my kitchen was a mess but it was totally worth it. It's amazing! I think this will become a regular edition to my meal planning schedule.

I got a question on my last post about how I find time to cook. Cooking is a huge form of stress release for me. I enjoy my time in the kitchen very much. Meal planning helps a lot with time because I know what meats, etc. to remove from the freezer and have thawed and ready for use each day and I don't have to spend time thinking about what to make. Most of my meals take less than an hour to prepare. I go into the kitchen at about 6:15 and I'm sitting down to eat by 7 at the latest. It's a time commitment that I enjoy, I wish I could find more time to be in the kitchen!

My exercise plan for the week:

Monday - Swim
Tuesday - Elliptical and Weights
Wednesday - Swim
Thursday - Elliptical or Bike and Weights
Friday - Swim or Elliptical

Since my May Motivation training schedule is out, I need to come up with a new plan. I must have a plan. I will fail without one.

Ok. This is it. No more excuses. I want you guys to hold me to it. If I don't post tomorrow about how I went to the gym after work today, I want you guys to call me on it. I'm serious.

Happy Monday, what is your plan for the week? Do you have one?

Regroup

So, last night, I posted a blog during a weak moment. I was embarrassed, disheartened and very sad. I felt it was important to share that moment because I know I'm not the only one that has those moments or feels that way after them. I don't want anyone to think that I have this dialed in or I don't struggle...because, I do struggle. This is hard and I have to work at it every day.

Today is a new day, I will try and treat it as such. Yesterday is the past,leave it there. I will make the most of today. I will focus on the good in this week.

I made some awesome food, my Sunday Sweet Potato Salad and quite possibly the Best Soup in The World.

I had a good run on Tuesday:



I did some Yoga this morning and during meditation I reflected on why I might have binged, then I decided to just let it go. Because the past is the past.

I read my horoscope this morning and I think it reflected the situation perfect!

Aries for 5/5/10

Not everyone knows that we make our own luck, but it's a fact that you count on every day. If some recent setback has brought you down, don't think of it as failure -- instead, see of it as a lesson to help aid your future success. What will you know to do for next time? Once you've figured it all out, you can go back and tweak your original formula. You're sure to like your results next time.

Tonight I am looking forward to a relatively "unplugged" night at home with the husband. Maybe I'll take the dog for a walk. Tomorrow I have the day off from work, a 4.5 mile run planned and then I might relax pool side for a bit. I feel like I need to just relax and I'm going pay attention to that feeling.

I hope everyone is having a good week!

A weak moment.

 

Sometimes we try our best and sometimes…NUTS!

Yes, I did finish off the entire container. I’m not proud of it, but I learned from it.

I learned that this doesn’t make my husband, my Mom or my dog love me any less. All of whom I spoke to in tears after my binge. I am not a Super Human. I will fall. The feeling of total fullness and bloat does not bring me the lulled satisfaction it once did. Sometimes I will make mistakes. I learned that I probably shouldn’t bring trigger foods into my home because they do just that. They trigger me to binge eat. I know this. I guess I just needed a reminder.

We all have bad days, nights or weeks. It happens, I know that. I just wanted to be honest with you about mine.  Weak moments can be just as important as great ones, we can learn a lot from them.

Have you had a weak moment recently? Did you learn anything from it?

The husband was not harmed in the making of this blog post. He was safely away from allergens at work.

Are you ready for some football?

Weigh-in this morning: 166.2lbs +2.8lbs from last week. Of course, last week I had an uncharacteristically big loss (-3.5lbs) and I know I made terrible food choices and did a lot of mindless snacking in Greensboro. I think the combination of that explains (although does not excuse, I still stand by my "no excuses" policy) why I had a gain. I will buckle down this week. I am also going to buy a real scale. I've been weighing myself on the Wii Fit only, so I'm curious to see how a scale compares. Coupons.com has a $5 off a Weight Watcher Con-Air Scale coupon, so that will help!

I am setting a Mini-goal, that's not so "mini" to me.

Stay on track this weekend.

That's it. Track everything I eat and drink and stay on on-point. I can and will do this even if it takes using all of my Flex Points. Did I mention my husband is a bartender? We always go to his bar for Super Bowl and they have a big party with loads of booze, food, shots and friends. It's going to be tough, but I know I can do it. Right while typing that, I heard the ESPN Sports Center jingle.

Weekend plans for me:

Tonight: Go see Dear John with my friend Kelly. Sneak snacks into movie theater. Come home, meal plan for next week while catching up on my DVR'ed shows.

Saturday: Chaser The Wonder Schnauzer goes to the Vet, then it's shopping for Super Bowl party stuff and groceries with the husband. Have no idea the plans for tomorrow evening but I'm sure they will be laid back since we will be out on Sunday.

Sunday: I have a 3 mile run in the morning and then I am going to eat a healthy breakfast and lunch before heading up to the bar for the Super Bowl! This year I'm mostly just excited about the commercials, but if I have to pick a team, it's probably going to be The Saints!

What should I sneak into the movies tonight? I know I'm going to sneak in a 100 Calorie bag of Pop Corn...anything else? What's your favorite movie snack?

Happy Friday everyone!

Like a slap in the face it's hit me!

Something just dawned on me like a slap in the face. On January 5th I will have been on my journey of health and wellness for 1 entire year. That is less than 2 months away!

These last few weeks have been rough, I'm not going to lie. I haven't been tracking or exercising enough. I have been out of town, my knee looked like a water balloon on Saturday,



but those are not excuses. The truth is I have made poor food choices and I have been lazy. There it is, I said it. I'm not going to get all down and out about, I have maintained. I am just going to try and do better. That's all we can do.

The point I'm trying to make is, on January 5th, 1 year from the start of this journey that has totally changed me as a person...will I be happy with how far I have come?

I can't deny I am proud of how far I have come, 46lbs is no small potatoes. It's significant. I have a confidence that I've never had before and I am comfortable in my own skin. I still have weight loss that I want to achieve, I still have to complete my first 5k next week, but the answer is yes. I will be happy on January 5th. Not even one time did I completely give up. I had rough days, I had rough weeks...but I didn't give up. The next day, the next meal...it was all a chance to DO BETTER and most of the time I did! Not because I had to, but because I wanted to!

So bring it on Holiday Season, with your cakes, pies and casseroles, you won't beat me down! :)

So far, so good...

One of the goals I've set for myself in an attempt to let go of my excuses is to lose 6lbs from my current weight today by Wednesday 11/25. That will be just shy of 5 weeks from today. I know I can do it, but it's going to take dedication. My current weight is:

165.1 lbs

So, if I lose 6lbs I will officially be at my first original weight loss goal of "Lose 50lbs" just in time to go home and visit my family for a long weekend of Thanksgiving activities. On that same day I will also complete another goal of mine, my very first 5k race. I think that will be a HUGE day for me emotionally and great motivation to make the next 5 weeks great! I'm doing well on my training:

On my first rest day, I did an Ab work out and yesterday I ran my 2.5miles with an average of 11:20/mi. I ran that outdoors on pavement. I am happy with that time, I really struggle running outside. I'm hoping that 5 weeks of outdoor runs whenever possible will get me over that.

Today is another rest day and my plan is to do an arm work out at home and follow up with a little Yoga.

My eating has been OK, Tuesday and Wednesday I did well, yesterday not so much. I didn't go totally overboard just a few extra pieces of this or that. I really need to get control of my late night snacking. I think a holiday craft project of some sort may need to come into play to keep my hands busy, that might be just the ticket.

I haven't had a drink since Saturday night.

I tried a new recipe this week as well, I made Roni's Spaghetti Squash Cakes from GreenLiteBites.com. They were so yummy! I will probably make a 2nd batch this weekend. I am trying to make it a point to eat more seasonably too, this is a good recipe to take through the fall months.

So, all in all, I would say that since Tuesday and my No Excuses approach, I have had a pretty good week. The momentum is swinging in the right direction, I hope plan to keep it going that way!

Happy Weekends to all!