A rough go of it.

I am having a rough time this week. Not really with bad choices, although my choices aren't great, they're not THAT bad...I'm having a rough time in my head. Here are some of the recurrent thoughts in my brain this week: Do I really want to eat healthily for the rest of my life? Will a non-serving size quantity of *insert sinful treat here* always haunt me until it's completely gone?I don't feel like exercising anymore. It's so hard to do this alone. It would be so nice to have someone who I share meals and work out with. I'll...

I won't lie anymore

I'm not going to lie about it anymore. I'm not going to sugar coat it. Since my knee injury, I have fallen off the wagon. I have eaten entirely too much, mindlessly snacked even more, used my knee as an excuse not to exercise AT ALL and for the past 10 days I haven't tracked my food, I haven't cared. I pretty much just gave up. This morning, I feel terrible. I feel like the old me. I feel snappy, moody, sluggish. My...

A weak moment.

  Sometimes we try our best and sometimes…NUTS! Yes, I did finish off the entire container. I’m not proud of it, but I learned from it. I learned that this doesn’t make my husband, my Mom or my dog love me any less. All of whom I spoke to in tears after my binge. I am not a Super Human. I will fall. The feeling of total fullness and bloat does not bring me the lulled satisfaction it once did. Sometimes...

Conference Downfalls

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I am attending a work conference. I am actually typing this out on my Blackberry in between sessions.I have a hard time staying on track when my schedule varies a lot. Yesterday I gave into a fast food lunch, poor choices were made, and today I gave into half of a bagel and I wasn't even hungry. This week has also been lacking exercise and I have no real excuse except being tired, which I don't think is a legitimate excuse.I guess I am writing to say that this week, I have been weak on my...

I am human. Damn it.

I will start this blog with my weigh in, because I want to get it over with. Today's weight: 163.4 / +2.2lbs from last week. Am I shocked? Actually I'm kind of shocked it wasn't more. Shocked you didn't gain more? Really? You don't say? Yes. I went off plan...all week. I didn't track, I ate pizza and burgers between the hours of 1am-3am in Savannah and other than walking around the city and one 3 mile run yesterday I...

Sometimes life just gets in the way

Savannah was amazing. I mean, really amazing. Fantastic and beyond my wildest imaginations. I had such a wonderful time and it was so great to see all of my friends. However, I'm too tired to write about it right now. As soon as I got home from Savannah on Sunday night, didn't even get a chance to pee, I had to take my husband to the ER for consistent vomiting. My husband has some other health issues and vomiting, although...

Grumpy with a chance of Bitchy.

I'm not having a good week. I'm up +2.1 lbs since Friday. Probably due in large part to Monday's binge. I've eaten every single one of my Flex Points for the week and some of my activity points.I'm grumpy with a chance of bitchy. Work is stressing me out. Life is stressing me out. I didn't want to talk about this here, but I promised to share my triumphs and my frustrations. Well, I'm pretty frustrated. We all have bad...

When you least expect it

Yesterday was my first day back at work after my va/stay-cation. I had a headache, I was exhausted and the last thing I felt like doing when I got home was going to the gym. Yet all day long I kept thinking "I just want to go for a run, a run would make me feel better." I canceled plans with a girlfriend for dinner because I was just miserable. I got home, looked at my couch and almost gave in. At 5:10 I called my friend...

I am just not having a good day.

I am just not having a good day. Today I am sad, I am angry and I am depressed. Honestly, I have felt this way for weeks, not just today and I can't seem to shake it.However, feeling this way does not give me the right to eat whatever I want, stop exercising or give up trying to make myself feel better.I will not drop anchor here. This will not be my undoing. I will not binge, it will not make me feel better. I will not stop caring about myself as I have in the past. I will not be sucked into the black hole of despair with an...