A weak moment.

 

Sometimes we try our best and sometimes…NUTS!

Yes, I did finish off the entire container. I’m not proud of it, but I learned from it.

I learned that this doesn’t make my husband, my Mom or my dog love me any less. All of whom I spoke to in tears after my binge. I am not a Super Human. I will fall. The feeling of total fullness and bloat does not bring me the lulled satisfaction it once did. Sometimes I will make mistakes. I learned that I probably shouldn’t bring trigger foods into my home because they do just that. They trigger me to binge eat. I know this. I guess I just needed a reminder.

We all have bad days, nights or weeks. It happens, I know that. I just wanted to be honest with you about mine.  Weak moments can be just as important as great ones, we can learn a lot from them.

Have you had a weak moment recently? Did you learn anything from it?

The husband was not harmed in the making of this blog post. He was safely away from allergens at work.

Conference Downfalls

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I am attending a work conference. I am actually typing this out on my Blackberry in between sessions.

I have a hard time staying on track when my schedule varies a lot. Yesterday I gave into a fast food lunch, poor choices were made, and today I gave into half of a bagel and I wasn't even hungry. This week has also been lacking exercise and I have no real excuse except being tired, which I don't think is a legitimate excuse.

I guess I am writing to say that this week, I have been weak on my plan. This week is tough. I am not doing my best this week. Yes, I know that these things happen and yes I know I will get it back on track, but I sure do feel disappointed in myself right now.

Do you find it hard to stay on track when your schedule is hectic and varied? How do you keep from beating yourself up over it?

Another day in the life

 

Today I started and nearly finished all of my Christmas shopping. The most favorite gift I bought? I got our niece a Mrs.Potato Head! I’m pretty sure I only bought it because I want to play with it because I loved my Mr.Potato Head as a kid…but I still think she’ll like it!  

Well, I hope she does. :)

I started the morning with a pretty decent (for me) 3 mile run at 10:27 pace and some weights before breakfast. Since it’s my day off that was around 9. Then I had some oatmeal and got ready to head out shopping. I hit the Outlets first, lots of walking around outdoors in the cold and that’s when I realized…my breakfast wasn’t enough.

After the outlets I had to go to Wal-Mart and on my way there I would pass…Taco Bell. Taco Bell always used to be a binge fest for me. You haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen me polish off  6 tacos in under 30 minutes…wait, you don’t want to see that. I looked like a rabid animal. I was starving and I needed gas and this particular Taco Bell is attached to a gas station and I still had hours of shopping left to do and some of that shopping involved groceries. I can’t grocery shop hungry, it’s bad for the bank account.

I pump my gas and honestly question if I should have Taco Bell or if that’s going to send me into a binge frenzy. I decide I can handle it and I get 2 Double Decker Taco Supremes and a Diet Pepsi. I ate one in the Wal-Mart parking lot before going in to shop and then I had the other one when I got home as a snack. Now, I know you’re thinking this is no big deal…but to me it is. I could have easily gotten entirely too much food and eaten until I was sick. I would have before and not thought twice about it. This time I thought and I enjoyed and it was enough.

Now my Christmas tree has presents under it, my tummy is happy and satisfied and I successfully enjoyed something I thought I could never enjoy without gluttony. It was a good, although very cold, day.

Atonement.

Saturday night I embarrassed myself. I made myself sick. I binged, right in front of people. I stuffed myself to the gills with Halloween Candy, mini-tacos, chips and dip. As fast as I could shove it in my mouth I did. Granted, it wasn't the binge sessions of my past, but it was bad enough that I was sick to my stomach all night long and for a good part of Sunday. Sunday I went for a 2 mile training run and I could feel every piece of candy, every unhealthy choice I made with every step.

I thought about not writing today, letting the weekend just kind of disappear into a week I plan to fill with healthy choices but that would not be accountability. I need to get this weekend thing handled and fast. I am very angry at myself and my lack of willpower this weekend. I only have 3 and 1/2 weeks to get things in check.

In other news...I was a Bumble Bee for Halloween and my Husband was God's Gift to Women.



I did find that if I have a glass of water with my beer and I choose a hearty full flavored beer, I drink a lot less. I've been doing this when I drink lately and it helps me to drink slower and drink less. Pumpkin Beer is fantastic, by the way.



Ok, so that's my disappointing weekend recap. Sunday was an on-point good day and I plan continue such success for the rest of the week.

Here's to a new week, a new month and a new day!