No Excuses Included!

Today my friend Heather shared a 5 week training schedule for a 5k. It works out perfectly because my race is exactly 5 weeks from tomorrow. I had to adjust the last week slightly because my race is on Thursday instead of Sunday like the original schedule, but I think it will work great!

My plan is to hang it on the fridge and mark the days off as I complete them. I figure (as I promised yesterday when I promised myself No More Excuses!) that on my rest days I can do any combination of Yoga, Sit-ups/Push-ups or fun activity I want to do and then mark the days off as they pass. It will work for a countdown to the race and my vacation!

I marked off Tuesdays run this morning (after getting the schedule) because I took Chaser the Wonder Schnauzer...(pause for picture)

....for a run/walk/sniff around my neighborhood. He doesn't really run well, but I was proud of him because he gave a good solid effort for about 1.6 miles! He only caused me slight injury one time when he came to a complete stop out of nowhere and I rolled my ankle a bit...it seems fine today though!

Today is a "Rest" day, so I think I am going to do an Ab Workout that was in my Real Simple Magazine this month. Then I'm going to settle in for a movie with the husband. Sounds like a good night to me, no excuses included! :)

No more excuses!

Today is the day I stop making excuses. I have been full of them lately for everything imaginable. My house is a mess, I haven't been eating well, I haven't been working out like I should, I can't tell you the last time I took the dog for a walk, I have been drinking like a fish and not sleeping well. Here are some of my excuses:

"I'm not feeling well."

Maybe because you ate yourself into a food coma, or drank yourself into an oblivion?

"I'm under a lot of stress at work."

You're only stressed because you're letting it stress you out.

"I miss my family in Greensboro."

You always miss your family, you'll see them next month...this is not new.

"It's my husband's birthday, so I have to celebrate!"

Yes, but when it's his birthday and he's driving you home...you celebrated too much.

"I ran yesterday, I probably shouldn't push my knees."

You only ran two miles yesterday, your knees can take a little more. You used to run everyday.


Well, today is the day I am done making excuses. I am going to set some goals for myself, right now:

1. I am only going to allow myself to have alcoholic beverages once a week (in moderation...probably on football Sundays) from now until Thanksgiving.

Reasoning: I have been drinking too much lately...way too much. Alcohol is not a coping mechanism, I need to stop treating it as such. I also need to be focusing on finishing my first 5k and keeping myself motivated to run while being hungover several days a week has not been working.

2. I am going to run a minimum of 3 times weekly from now until Thanksgiving. No excuses. If I can't run, I will walk and at least 2 times weekly I will do Yoga or weight training, something else that will keep me active.

3. I am going to make at least 1 new recipe weekly.

4. I am going to lose 6lbs (from Friday's weigh in on 10/23) by Thanksgiving. (and, I'm going to stop skipping weigh ins!)

Ok, 4 attainable goals. I can do this.

From Merriam-Webster, this is the definition of excuse:

1 a : to make apology for b : to try to remove blame from

Well, I'm done making apologies for neglecting myself and I take full responsibility for letting myself backslide.

I'm finished with excuses. Today is a new day.

I'm totally an addict.

Sunday afternoon, I gave myself permission to be lazy. My Philadelphia Eagles didn't play this week, so I there was nothing on TV. While drifting in and out of naps (it was chilly and rainy, perfect day for it, I did manage to run 3 miles earlier in the day though) I was watching a marathon of True Life on MTV. This marathon was all about drugs. I wasn't really paying attention until the story of this girl came on. She made me so mad. She had been through rehab 16 times....yes, that's 1 6 as in sixteen times and she was out of rehab, living in a halfway house and she said "You know, I'm not sure I'm going to stay off the pills or not." 3 days after they filmed her, she relapsed. Huge surprise right? Especially with that mentality.

Then, there was a guy...he was addicted to Oxycontin (I think) and he was desperate to get clean. He went to a doctor to ask for help and the doctor said "Are you ready to give it up?" and his answer was "No, I just need you to give the medicine I need to withdraw". I'm sorry, but that made me mad too. Don't ask for help unless you are ready to take the steps to get better.

Driving to work yesterday I was being kind of hard on myself because I had promised myself Sunday night that I would go to the gym Monday morning. I didn't make it. Then, yesterday day I promised myself a run after work. I didn't make it. I was going to stay within my points yesterday too...I didn't. Last night, because I failed myself yesterday I was determined to get up this morning and go to the gym. I still didn't. Oh, and did I mention I'm smoking way more than I should for a "non-smoker" these days? Yeah, not real proud of that either.

Then I got to thinking...how am I any better than them? I was on the right path, I was doing great, then I started to let little things slip in. "Doing this one time won't hurt anything...", "A cigarette while drinking doesn't count..." "I worked out yesterday, so I can skip today" "I'm not going to get my wedding ring re-sized, even though it's almost falling off, because I'm afraid I'll gain the weight back..." (sound familiar?) and before I know it, I'm flip flopped my "Live healthily 80% of the time to be naughty 20% of the time" motto with naughty 80%, healthy 20%. I was there...I was in rehab and then I slipped back into my addiction. Food and laziness. Granted, I'm not rock bottom, but I'm on a dangerous slope and gravity is trying very hard to work against me.

I can't let it. I won't.

I am sorry that most of my updates lately have been about my failures, but that's part of it. I want to share it all. This is not easy. There is no magical pill or potion. It's a daily struggle for me.

It's all about choices

Yesterday, I had a really crappy day at work and about 2pm I started day dreaming about a night at home...just me and a medium pizza. I kept thinking "it's my first day of my diet week, I have all my flex points, why not?". I had all put ordered the pizza online and scheduled prompt delivery at 5:15pm, but then I got to thinking about it. All I've been doing lately is complaining about how I can't get control. Then it dawned on me...here is my chance.

Instead of pizza I thought about running. I didn't tell myself the pizza was out, but I just started thinking about running after work, how good that would feel to release the tension of the day. The endorphin high that would follow. Then, by the time I left work at 4:45pm I was pumped for a run.

When I left the building, I realized my run couldn't take place outside. 85 degrees and muggy. I did not feel up to that. So, I went home, changed clothes, fed the dog and then headed to my amenity center and hit the treadmill. It was like getting reacquainted with an old friend, it's been almost 3 weeks (maybe more) since I've been there. I got on one of the treadmills facing the window and just ran. I ran until I needed to walk and then I walked until I could run. I pushed myself and finished my 2nd best 5k yet.

Then, I cleaned my kitchen...because I had energy. Then I did some sit ups and push ups, just because, then I took a long hot shower. By 7:00, I'm starving and I decided I wanted to eat some leftover healthified tacos for dinner, I forgot all about the pizza. It's all about the choices we make. Only we can choose to swing the pendulum in the right direction. No one can push it that way for us.

This is a small step, I know...but it's a step, a step in the right direction to get back the control and dedication I had a few months ago. I will get there, I know I will.

In the absence of motivation

I have have a rough couple of weeks; I had the flu for two weeks, I'm trying to make some difficult life decisions and I find myself lacking motivation. I haven't gone completely off plan, but I haven't been completely on plan either. Every night before bed, I come up with the best intentions...then the alarm goes off and it's still completely dark outside, I reset the alarm and go back to sleep.

Every time I have a rough couple of weeks, I am terrified I will gain the weight back. You would think this would be the motivation to not let that happen, but unfortunately it doesn't work that way for me. I know I have my first 5k next month and I need to stay in shape and keep training because I want to run as much of it as possible. That's not working either.

I read so many blogs of success stories and people who live a healthy life every day. They make it look so easy. I often wonder if they struggle like I do. Do they have rough weeks or days? Days when no amount of food seems like enough to fill your stomach or weeks when you have absolutely no energy for anything other than the necessities of life?

This morning, I woke up at 6am and I jogged/walked 2 miles. It was completely dark outside, I had no desire to do it but I did it. Afterward, I did sit ups. Nothing earth shattering, but you know what? I moved. I had activity today. I don't think I take the time to appreciate the effort I put into being healthy. It's not easy, some days are easier than others, but some days it feels impossible. I am proud of myself for making the effort.

"Success doesn't come to you…you go to it." Marva Collins