Friday, October 30, 2009

What I could do...

I had a rock star week this week. I got a lot of activity in, I made new recipes, I felt powerful and strong. I blogged a lot. I went out with my friends, had 4 beers and stopped, was surrounded by cigarettes and fried food and turned both down, on more than one occasion this week. I made time for me, I focused on being happy and finding balance.

This morning, I got on the scale and I had a total weight loss of:

0 lbs

*crickets chirping*

What I could do is get upset. What I could do is go completely off point and binge. What I could do is get mad at myself. What I could do is say "the hell with it, I'm done". What I could do is act shocked, and pretend I don't know why this happened or make up some excuse about stress eating or how I must be gaining muscle.

BUT, I'm not going to do these things...that's what old Me would have done. What I am going to do is pride myself for having a rock star week regardless of what the scale says, admit that my size 12 jeans do feel a little more snug than before and admit that my late night snacking was a bit out of hand at the beginning of the week and especially last weekend while I was dog sitting. I knew it while I was doing it, but I chose to do it anyway.

I am also going to go forward with this week, knowing that I can have a great week again. I have power over my urges to snack. I am going to be aware of the food I am putting in my mouth, the choices I am making and I am going to move forward.

No excuses, just accountability.

Moving right along...

Yesterday was a 3 mile training run, I averaged 11:03/mi and was happy with that. IT was cold, windy and I was on a 14 hour long empty tummy. Today was a "rest" day, so I played a little Wii Fit after my weigh in (step aerobics, distance run and hula hoop) and then I did a morning Yoga DVD.

Tonight I am having a girlfriend over for dinner and scary movies. On the menu is Baked Slow Cooker Chicken, roasted butternut squash (there is also some squash and onion that the chicken is resting on top of instead of foil as the recipe notes) and she is making steamed artichokes. For dessert I have an assortment of Sugar Free Pudding cups and Yoplait Parfaits to choose from.

The whole chicken wouldn't fit into my tiny crockpot, so I had to hack the poor thing up. My husband laughed at me the whole time. I don't think it would be impossible for me to become a vegetarian if I had to disjoint my own meat often. I was taking do it the whole time "I'm so sorry little bird, oh that's so gross, I'm know that must hurt!". Yeah, I didn't like that experience and I think I will just stick with already cut up chickens going forward. Lesson learned.

I hope you all have a very Happy Halloween!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

I am taking care of my body, and it will take care of me.

"I am taking care of my body, and it will take care of me." That was my positive affirmation for the day. I think yesterday was a good example of that! Yesterday I had a most productive and OP day. I have to say, I'm pretty proud of myself. After work, I went for a run...

My best run outdoors yet! Of course the entire first 1.5miles I had a stitch in my side the size of Texas, but I worked through it. I am on track with my 5k training schedule, but I forgot to take a picture of it this morning. Oops!

For dinner I tried 2 new recipes, both were amazing! If you don't make these for dinner soon you're just crazy. I started with Roni's Stuff Pork with Butternut Squash and Apples, I didn't have Bulgar, so I substituted whole wheat couscous and it worked GREAT! Make extra stuffing though, because you'll want it, it's tasty!

On the side, I found a recipe for Brussels Sprouts in Mustard Sauce and I love Brussels Sprouts. I added a little horseradish to the sauce and I chopped a little onion to go in there as well. This sauce is amazing. When you put the pork on the plate and it mixes with that sauce it's a wonderful combination too!

Yesterday at work I found a recipe for Pumpkin Apple Butter, it wasn't bad, but I wanted to do it my way. Here's how I reworked it...also, last night.

Pumpkin Apple Butter

Apples, 1 small raw, with skin
Water, 1/2 cup
Apples, 1 small raw, without skin
Pumpkin, 1 can
Pumpkin pie spice 1 tsp.
Sugars, brown 1/2 cup, loosely packed


Combine 1 apple (cored and chopped) with skin on and 1/2 cup of water in blender and blend until liquefied.

Peel and core 2nd apple and then shred with a grater.

Combine apple "juice", shredded apple, 1 can of pumpkin, 1 tsp pumpkin pie spice, 1/2 cup packed brown sugar into a heavy duty saucepan, bring to a boil, then reduce heat to low and let simmer for 90 minutes until thickened.

1 serving is 2 Tablespoons. Serve on muffins, in oatmeal, in yogurt or on toast!

Store in an airtight container in the fridge for up to 2 months.

I've attached the Nutrition Data that I figured using I have calculated 0 points per serving, however I am going to count a serving as 1 point because based upon your apple sizes and how loosely you pack your sugar it could waiver a bit. This morning I mixed some into my yogurt, so good!

While all of that was cooking away, I opened my first pomegranate. It was a little messy, not too bad, but totally worth it! Yummy!

By the time I finally stopped moving last night it was after 9pm! Oh yeah, and I did 2 loads of laundry! :) I love productive days.

Monday, October 26, 2009

"Go Me!" Moments

I live on the coast of North Carolina, this weekend some friends asked me to dog sit for them in their beach house on Sunset Beach. Who am I to refuse a house for the weekend 1/2 of a block from the beach? Meet my pal for the weekend:


We walked all over the island on Saturday evening, having a grand old time in the sand and on land. On Sunday morning he decided I should see the sunrise. While I wasn't happy at the prospect of being up so early at first, I was glad he did.

We had a lovely and long walk after which he crashed on the porch while I finished reading 1 book and started another...all before 10am, I might add.

So, this weekend I got lots of walking done, which was good since it was my "Rest" days for my 5k training plan but, did you know that staying by yourself, house sitting in a home full of junk food, missing your husband and your own dog will probably make you eat thus said junk food? Well it did me. I didn't make the best food choices, (too many ginger snaps, peanut butter on crackers, chex mix and M&Ms) I'll admit it and there are no excuses. I did it, I admit it and I'm moving along.

However, guess what did happen? Are you ready for this? I went to Football Sunday for a few hours with the guys and I only had....1 beer. AND I didn't smoke. I haven't had a single cigarette in 1 week and I have only had 1 beer 9 days. I know, my excitement over this leads one to think I should be in AA or something...but it's not like that. I just really like my beer. While sitting at the bar I almost asked my husband for a cigarette several times and then I thought:

"Think how disappointed you will feel if you do and think how proud you will feel if you don't."

and it worked! Then I was thinking instead of going to my house to cook a healthy dinner to take to my friends house for dinner last night (I didn't want to dirty their kitchen) I would just swing by Wendy's a grab a cheeseburger. A few minutes later I thought:

"Think how disappointed you will feel if you do and think how proud you will feel if you don't."

And guess what? It worked. AGAIN. :) Sure, it was a pain in the butt driving all over creation and having to bring food to cart back home to work today, but I had a vegetable full healthy dinner instead of a cheeseburger. So although I made some poor food choices I have to say this weekend was full of "GO ME!" moments.

Pause a minute and do the cabbage patch....and the roger rabbit....

Sorry ya'll, but I feel good. :)

Friday, October 23, 2009

So far, so good...

One of the goals I've set for myself in an attempt to let go of my excuses is to lose 6lbs from my current weight today by Wednesday 11/25. That will be just shy of 5 weeks from today. I know I can do it, but it's going to take dedication. My current weight is:

165.1 lbs

So, if I lose 6lbs I will officially be at my first original weight loss goal of "Lose 50lbs" just in time to go home and visit my family for a long weekend of Thanksgiving activities. On that same day I will also complete another goal of mine, my very first 5k race. I think that will be a HUGE day for me emotionally and great motivation to make the next 5 weeks great! I'm doing well on my training:

On my first rest day, I did an Ab work out and yesterday I ran my 2.5miles with an average of 11:20/mi. I ran that outdoors on pavement. I am happy with that time, I really struggle running outside. I'm hoping that 5 weeks of outdoor runs whenever possible will get me over that.

Today is another rest day and my plan is to do an arm work out at home and follow up with a little Yoga.

My eating has been OK, Tuesday and Wednesday I did well, yesterday not so much. I didn't go totally overboard just a few extra pieces of this or that. I really need to get control of my late night snacking. I think a holiday craft project of some sort may need to come into play to keep my hands busy, that might be just the ticket.

I haven't had a drink since Saturday night.

I tried a new recipe this week as well, I made Roni's Spaghetti Squash Cakes from They were so yummy! I will probably make a 2nd batch this weekend. I am trying to make it a point to eat more seasonably too, this is a good recipe to take through the fall months.

So, all in all, I would say that since Tuesday and my No Excuses approach, I have had a pretty good week. The momentum is swinging in the right direction, I hope plan to keep it going that way!

Happy Weekends to all!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

No Excuses Included!

Today my friend Heather shared a 5 week training schedule for a 5k. It works out perfectly because my race is exactly 5 weeks from tomorrow. I had to adjust the last week slightly because my race is on Thursday instead of Sunday like the original schedule, but I think it will work great!

My plan is to hang it on the fridge and mark the days off as I complete them. I figure (as I promised yesterday when I promised myself No More Excuses!) that on my rest days I can do any combination of Yoga, Sit-ups/Push-ups or fun activity I want to do and then mark the days off as they pass. It will work for a countdown to the race and my vacation!

I marked off Tuesdays run this morning (after getting the schedule) because I took Chaser the Wonder Schnauzer...(pause for picture)

....for a run/walk/sniff around my neighborhood. He doesn't really run well, but I was proud of him because he gave a good solid effort for about 1.6 miles! He only caused me slight injury one time when he came to a complete stop out of nowhere and I rolled my ankle a seems fine today though!

Today is a "Rest" day, so I think I am going to do an Ab Workout that was in my Real Simple Magazine this month. Then I'm going to settle in for a movie with the husband. Sounds like a good night to me, no excuses included! :)

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

No more excuses!

Today is the day I stop making excuses. I have been full of them lately for everything imaginable. My house is a mess, I haven't been eating well, I haven't been working out like I should, I can't tell you the last time I took the dog for a walk, I have been drinking like a fish and not sleeping well. Here are some of my excuses:

"I'm not feeling well."

Maybe because you ate yourself into a food coma, or drank yourself into an oblivion?

"I'm under a lot of stress at work."

You're only stressed because you're letting it stress you out.

"I miss my family in Greensboro."

You always miss your family, you'll see them next month...this is not new.

"It's my husband's birthday, so I have to celebrate!"

Yes, but when it's his birthday and he's driving you celebrated too much.

"I ran yesterday, I probably shouldn't push my knees."

You only ran two miles yesterday, your knees can take a little more. You used to run everyday.

Well, today is the day I am done making excuses. I am going to set some goals for myself, right now:

1. I am only going to allow myself to have alcoholic beverages once a week (in moderation...probably on football Sundays) from now until Thanksgiving.

Reasoning: I have been drinking too much lately...way too much. Alcohol is not a coping mechanism, I need to stop treating it as such. I also need to be focusing on finishing my first 5k and keeping myself motivated to run while being hungover several days a week has not been working.

2. I am going to run a minimum of 3 times weekly from now until Thanksgiving. No excuses. If I can't run, I will walk and at least 2 times weekly I will do Yoga or weight training, something else that will keep me active.

3. I am going to make at least 1 new recipe weekly.

4. I am going to lose 6lbs (from Friday's weigh in on 10/23) by Thanksgiving. (and, I'm going to stop skipping weigh ins!)

Ok, 4 attainable goals. I can do this.

From Merriam-Webster, this is the definition of excuse:

1 a : to make apology for b : to try to remove blame from

Well, I'm done making apologies for neglecting myself and I take full responsibility for letting myself backslide.

I'm finished with excuses. Today is a new day.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I'm totally an addict.

Sunday afternoon, I gave myself permission to be lazy. My Philadelphia Eagles didn't play this week, so I there was nothing on TV. While drifting in and out of naps (it was chilly and rainy, perfect day for it, I did manage to run 3 miles earlier in the day though) I was watching a marathon of True Life on MTV. This marathon was all about drugs. I wasn't really paying attention until the story of this girl came on. She made me so mad. She had been through rehab 16 times....yes, that's 1 6 as in sixteen times and she was out of rehab, living in a halfway house and she said "You know, I'm not sure I'm going to stay off the pills or not." 3 days after they filmed her, she relapsed. Huge surprise right? Especially with that mentality.

Then, there was a guy...he was addicted to Oxycontin (I think) and he was desperate to get clean. He went to a doctor to ask for help and the doctor said "Are you ready to give it up?" and his answer was "No, I just need you to give the medicine I need to withdraw". I'm sorry, but that made me mad too. Don't ask for help unless you are ready to take the steps to get better.

Driving to work yesterday I was being kind of hard on myself because I had promised myself Sunday night that I would go to the gym Monday morning. I didn't make it. Then, yesterday day I promised myself a run after work. I didn't make it. I was going to stay within my points yesterday too...I didn't. Last night, because I failed myself yesterday I was determined to get up this morning and go to the gym. I still didn't. Oh, and did I mention I'm smoking way more than I should for a "non-smoker" these days? Yeah, not real proud of that either.

Then I got to am I any better than them? I was on the right path, I was doing great, then I started to let little things slip in. "Doing this one time won't hurt anything...", "A cigarette while drinking doesn't count..." "I worked out yesterday, so I can skip today" "I'm not going to get my wedding ring re-sized, even though it's almost falling off, because I'm afraid I'll gain the weight back..." (sound familiar?) and before I know it, I'm flip flopped my "Live healthily 80% of the time to be naughty 20% of the time" motto with naughty 80%, healthy 20%. I was there...I was in rehab and then I slipped back into my addiction. Food and laziness. Granted, I'm not rock bottom, but I'm on a dangerous slope and gravity is trying very hard to work against me.

I can't let it. I won't.

I am sorry that most of my updates lately have been about my failures, but that's part of it. I want to share it all. This is not easy. There is no magical pill or potion. It's a daily struggle for me.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

It's all about choices

Yesterday, I had a really crappy day at work and about 2pm I started day dreaming about a night at home...just me and a medium pizza. I kept thinking "it's my first day of my diet week, I have all my flex points, why not?". I had all put ordered the pizza online and scheduled prompt delivery at 5:15pm, but then I got to thinking about it. All I've been doing lately is complaining about how I can't get control. Then it dawned on is my chance.

Instead of pizza I thought about running. I didn't tell myself the pizza was out, but I just started thinking about running after work, how good that would feel to release the tension of the day. The endorphin high that would follow. Then, by the time I left work at 4:45pm I was pumped for a run.

When I left the building, I realized my run couldn't take place outside. 85 degrees and muggy. I did not feel up to that. So, I went home, changed clothes, fed the dog and then headed to my amenity center and hit the treadmill. It was like getting reacquainted with an old friend, it's been almost 3 weeks (maybe more) since I've been there. I got on one of the treadmills facing the window and just ran. I ran until I needed to walk and then I walked until I could run. I pushed myself and finished my 2nd best 5k yet.

Then, I cleaned my kitchen...because I had energy. Then I did some sit ups and push ups, just because, then I took a long hot shower. By 7:00, I'm starving and I decided I wanted to eat some leftover healthified tacos for dinner, I forgot all about the pizza. It's all about the choices we make. Only we can choose to swing the pendulum in the right direction. No one can push it that way for us.

This is a small step, I know...but it's a step, a step in the right direction to get back the control and dedication I had a few months ago. I will get there, I know I will.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

In the absence of motivation

I have have a rough couple of weeks; I had the flu for two weeks, I'm trying to make some difficult life decisions and I find myself lacking motivation. I haven't gone completely off plan, but I haven't been completely on plan either. Every night before bed, I come up with the best intentions...then the alarm goes off and it's still completely dark outside, I reset the alarm and go back to sleep.

Every time I have a rough couple of weeks, I am terrified I will gain the weight back. You would think this would be the motivation to not let that happen, but unfortunately it doesn't work that way for me. I know I have my first 5k next month and I need to stay in shape and keep training because I want to run as much of it as possible. That's not working either.

I read so many blogs of success stories and people who live a healthy life every day. They make it look so easy. I often wonder if they struggle like I do. Do they have rough weeks or days? Days when no amount of food seems like enough to fill your stomach or weeks when you have absolutely no energy for anything other than the necessities of life?

This morning, I woke up at 6am and I jogged/walked 2 miles. It was completely dark outside, I had no desire to do it but I did it. Afterward, I did sit ups. Nothing earth shattering, but you know what? I moved. I had activity today. I don't think I take the time to appreciate the effort I put into being healthy. It's not easy, some days are easier than others, but some days it feels impossible. I am proud of myself for making the effort.

"Success doesn't come to you…you go to it." Marva Collins


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