Do I really want to eat healthily for the rest of my life?
Will a non-serving size quantity of *insert sinful treat here* always haunt me until it's completely gone?
I don't feel like exercising anymore.
It's so hard to do this alone. It would be so nice to have someone who I share meals and work out with.
I'll never regain the endurance I lost this past month off from running.
I like how I look now, do I need to bother with getting smaller?
Why are you paying for WeightWatchers.com, you aren't even tracking your food?
I am getting soft again, why bother working out, if I don't constantly monitor everything, I just gain weight. I'm too tired to deal with it.
Work is stressful, all of this can wait until the Fall when things calm down.
My knee is still hurting. I'm supposed to start my 1/2 marathon training this month. What if I can't do the 1/2 marathon?
I can't go to the doctor because I don't have insurance. What if I can never run again?
Needless to say, my mind has been...dark. I feel like I'm sprialling out of control into a downward vortex. This time it's not about bad choices. It's just about being tired and not caring anymore.
I didn't want to write this. You guys are an amazing source of support for me, and I know I'm not alone...but it sure does feel like it some times. Especially in my day to day life.
I am trying to get through this. I really am. Writing it out sounds pathetic, but it is nice to get it out of my head. If you add all of this, to the regular day to day stress of work and the husband's always changing health and problems...I'm just tired. Really, really tired.
I need a magic fitness fairy to come along, pick me up and take me for a walk or to the gym or for a swim. Or maybe just shake me until I come back to my senses.
Anyway, that's it. That's where I am. I don't like it here. I can't afford to drop anchor here. But I am having trouble mapping a safe exit route.
How do you get yourself out of a funk? This feels a little deeper than normal and with my past yo-yo'ing weight, this makes me nervous. Any help or advice would be so welcome.