Sometimes what is going on inside my head is quite comical, and maybe just to me. When I first started exercising and run/walking on the treadmill I started very slowly. I would build myself up 1-2 minutes at a time. I never ran in my life before. I was the chubby girl in middle school that only jogged when the teacher was watching. The night I ran my first consecutive 5 minutes, I was elated. I made sure to jot down what was going on inside my head, the following is that self conversation:
"She's a man-eater make you work hard make you sweat hard..." I don't really know if I like this song...I wonder what I'll make for dinner. I'm starving....Oh, almost at the end of the minute...I'll keep going.
Yeah, I really don't like Nelly Furtado, I mean she's ok; I need something else *reaches for mp3 player*...OH, OH!! Don't fall down, just pick a song, hold the rail, hmmm Muse...that will work, oh this is faster. I better go to 5.2...holy crap, it's been 3 minutes
Ok, 5.2 too fast, too fast....back to 5.0. "Starlight I will be chasing your starlight, until the end of my life..." what does he say after that? I need to look up those lyrics. Ew. My hair is soaking wet and it still smells like hair dye from yesterday...
Ok, 4 minutes. I should stop. No I shouldn't. Think about the big kid on The Biggest Loser! If the big kid can run for 5 minutes, you can do it! You can do it this time, come on...5 minutes. You can. "It's the eye of the tiger..." damn, I wish I had that song. Why haven't I downloaded that song? "Starlight...."
Holy Holly. You're going to do it. You're going to make it. Almost there....deep breaths! Don't stop now, 20 seconds, 19...18...5 minutes! You are a champion dude. Think people would notice if I started clapping and cheering for myself right now? *looks around* yeah, probably....
Now I'm running more for distance than time. I can run 1.5 miles and I'm working to increase that every week. I had weigh in today and only lost .4lbs. You could hear crickets in my head I was so stunned when I saw such a small fraction of a number.
Looking at the bigger picture, I wanted to take a glimpse back on how far I've come since I started this journey. While the weight loss is a great part of my new life, that's not what it's about anymore. It's about pushing myself, getting healthier and actually enjoying the process.